Grammar Nazi
by Ruffian194
Summary: When, "Millennium scum. You traitorous parasite. Here in the mist of us, undetected," is said, it would seem there's a bit of a problem, causing a misunderstanding when someone corrects the spelling of a word and the wrong thing is said.


_**Grammar Nazi**_

Seras had just come back from a mission, feeling more tired than usual. Sure she hadn't drank her blood for a while, but she was absolutely positive it was the weight of her cannons that were making her tired. Plus, she'd gone days without feeding and she didn't feel this bad up until the end of that period. The only reason she hadn't drank her blood today yet was because as soon as she got to her room that night and put the packet to her lips, she was called out again on another mission.

Yep. And the cannons weren't even that heavy to her. It wasn't really their weight, although she thought that before. It was just their sheer size. They got in the way and made her work harder. Although sometimes they did help in sticky situations. Whether it be blasting through a hundred ghouls or swinging those bad boys around to knock a few dead or out of the way. But if they were smaller and a bit lighter she'd appreciate it a lot. So instead of heading for her room right away-like she would usually do, Seras headed in the direction of Walter's workshop.

By the time she got there, her eyes had turned into a burnished red, but not quite the brilliant ruby they turned in the heat of battle, yet.

"Hey, Walter!"

"Hello, Miss Victoria. You surprised-" Walter cut his sentence off when he turned to see the condition in which Seras had come to him in. "Oh dear, Seras. When was the last time you drank your blood? Please don't tell me you've stopped drinking again."

"No, Walter. I haven't. I just haven't gotten the chance to drink it yet."

"Oh. Well then. Here you go. Have one of these," Walter answered back as he grabbed a blood-packet out of a little fridge he kept in the corner of the room and handed it to Seras. "You're lucky I keep that in here for your Master. He's very fond of coming down here to chat. And you know how hungry he always is. It's a pity I have a soft spot towards sad-cases and him looking so emaciated doesn't help. Don't let him know you had that though. He might kill me." Walter waited until Seras was finished drinking and throwing away the packet before continuing, "So, Seras, why is it you came to visit an old man like myself instead of going right to your room to have a nice dinner and then go to sleep in a soft, cozy bed-er...coffin?"

"Oh yeah! Thanks, Walter, for reminding me. I wanted to ask if you could…well…_modify_ my cannons," Seras hesitantly asked, scratching her head in an uncomfortable gesture.

"Sure, Seras." Walter smiled to reassure her. "What exactly did you want to change?"

Smiling brightly, Seras was quick to answer his question.

"I wanted to see if maybe you could make them smaller, lighter?"

"Sure. Now let me just write this down so that when I'm done with Alucard's guns I can get right on to working on yours," Walter said as he brought out a pad of paper and started to write on it. "Okay. So let's see."

Seras came over to see what Walter was writing.

Seras'es Request-

To make cannons smaller, lighter

"Uh. Walter," Seras said a little hotly.

Looking startled at Seras' tone of voice, Walter looked at her as he asked, "Yes, Seras? Is there a problem? Was there something else you wanted me to change?"

"You spelled my name wrong."

Looking back at the paper and then back at Seras, Walter asked, "I did?"

"Yes."

"No I didn't. Isn't your name spelled S-E-R-A-S?"

"Yes. But that's not how you spell it when it's ownership," Seras stated saucily while pointing at her name on the paper.

"Now, Seras. You don-"

Walter was interrupted by none other than Hellsing's best undead weapon. Alucard.

"Walter, have you seen Police G- Oh. There you are. What are you doin-"

"Master! Walter spelled my name wrong!"

Alucard just looked dumbly at Seras and then looked to Walter for answers. Walter on the other hand just slightly shrugged. Not sure exactly what Seras wanted him to do about it, Alucard simply asked, "And…What do you want me to do, Police Girl?"

Sighing heavily, Seras walked over to her master and dragged him over to the paper by his sleeve. Pointing at her name on the paper, Seras said, "That's not how you spell my name. You know how to spell it right, don't you Master?"

Looking down at Seras' puppy-dog face, Alucard just raised an eyebrow and stated, "Yes" knowing it was the answer she was looking for. What he didn't expect-besides the elated look on her face- was her to tell him to "spell it right than".

Hesitantly, Alucard picked up the pencil and in his neat, curving handwriting wrote "Seras's" above Walter's "Seras'es".

Seras took one look at how her master wrote her name and her smile fell.

"Oh my God, Master! What's wrong with you two?! You can't even spell my name right! It's not even that hard! Your putting too much freakin' effort into it," Seras yelled before snatching the pencil away from Alucard and writing "Seras'" real big underneath Walter and Alucard's versions of her name. "For Pete's sake! _That_'s how you spell it. S-E-R-A-S apostrophe. Is it really that hard?!"

Both males stared at Seras as they obediently shook their heads 'no', knowing full well it was never a good idea to aggravate an already aggravated female more. Especially a female _vampire- _not to mention Sir Integra.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a real Grammar-Nazi when it comes to spelling," Seras said, giving both her master and Walter an apologetic smile.

Walter nodded and accepted her apology and also apologized and promised not to make anymore spelling mistakes around her.

Seras giggled at this before turning to her master to see if he had accepted her apology as easily as Walter had. Instead of finding her master's devious smirk though, Seras turned to see that Alucard's eyes had an angry, twisted look in them as they watched her. He had the feel of a snake watching its attacker while it prepared itself for the attack itself.

"M-Master," Seras stammered out as she backed up a step towards Walter, who also backed up some. Their retreat was pushed further when Alucard took a step towards them.

"Millennium scum. You traitorous parasite. Here in the mist of us. Undetected."

Surprised by his words, Seras' eyes widened in fear and innocence. Shaking her head Seras exclaimed, "No. No, Master! It's not what you think! That's not what I meant! 'Grammar-Nazi', it's a figure of speech! I'm not a traitor! I swear! I'd never do that!"

Walter, feeling much more accused than Seras, backed up even further. Cautiously listening to the voice in his head telling him to 'Run. Run away from the accuser and the guilt'.

Alucard took another step and then another and another. All the while, both Seras and Walter retreated farther and farther. Until they both had their backs against the door.

"Tell me. How did you do it? How were you able to go undetected? No. Don't run," Alucard said as he let out one of his infamous low, demented chuckles.

Seras' hand was on the handle as soon as she heard the snicker, and with that Alucard lunged. The door was whipped open and both Seras and Walter ran for their lives.

"Come here, Millennium scum!"

"NOO, MASTER!"

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT! IT WAS ALL THEIR DOING! I _SWEAR_!"

_The End_

**Well what did you think?**

**I left it open at the end to let your own imaginations pick up where I left off so that you can come up with whatever conclusion you wanted.**

**Don't forget to review please!**


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